I'm Sorry [cont. from Visitors] « Thread Started on Jun 18, 2008, 11:46am »
Esme Cullen I pulled up and parked in the shadows across the street from Charlie's house. I hesitated a moment with my hands on the steering wheel before pulling the keys from the ignition and opening the door. As I was getting out I glanced behind me at Bella. Worry all over my face, she also had worry, but pain and fear as well.
Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway. I would have walked her to the door anyway, even stay with her until he showed up. She was in no condition or situation to stay alone. But since she did not have time to change into a less macabre wardrobe she would need help explaining things.
I knocked on the door. Charlie answered. His expressions changed quickly, first confusion, then reconition, then curiousity, then he saw Bella... is face going white to purple in seconds. I dared to take a breath so I can speak...
"Let me explain." I told him, holding up my hand to stop him from interupting me. "Bella drove Edward's car into a tree. Carlisle said she is fine, but will be sore." I handed her the small pharmacy bottle of vicodin then. "Go easy on her, Edward is back at the house handling the insurance company. He could come by later."
I was confused by his reaction. "You crashed his car?" A smirk appearing on his features while speaking to Bella. "Bet the insurance will give him hell. Serves him right to not have a car though, I've seen that Volvo fly down the highway once or twice."
I was suddenly very angry. My tone was seething, "Excuse me? Are you telling me you're happy she crashed my son's car? She could have been badly hurt. And I am quite appalled that you hold my son in such low esteem. We are not angry with Bella, not at all. You can at least give him the credit he deserves."
Charlie's face went back to purple. "I'm just glad it wasn't Edward driving the damn thing. At the speeds he goes there wouldn't be a wreck, there would be dust!" Both Charlie and I glared at each other for a moment.
"Thank you." I was curt. "I'm glad to see that you're very worried about your daughter and the fact that she is physically hurt. You're fatherly instincts are amazing." With that I turned back to the Volvo. Not giving Charlie the benefit of looking behind me. I barely stopped walking for a second though. I thought I smelled Edward's scent on the wind. Probably residual, he comes here so often. I wonder hw he deals with it. The fact that Charlie thinks so low of him. The fact that Charlie does not know Edward could read minds doesn't help. Edward can hear everything... How dare he think that way about my son! I couldn't stand it. I started the car and turned the car around, then gunned it. The tires screeched on the pavement as the car raced down the street, around the corner, on my way back home to deal with the mess there.
Charlie Swan Of course I was concerend about my daughter. "You alright Bells?" I asked her as I returned to my spot on the couch infront of the game. "That Esme has PTA mom syndrom, doesn't she?" I asked her as I lounged back, resting my arm on the back of the couch. Bella has come home in worse condition, and had gone through recovery without a hitch. So I would not interfere. But that is when I really looked at her. I felt the color run from my face. "You okay, Bella?" She looked exactly the way she looked when Edward left her nearly a year ago. I was instantly afraid that she would fall back into the same zombie-like pattern. This was hard, for me, trying to talk about emotions and situations like this, especially when they involved Edward. So I said nothing else.
Edward Cullen I stared out into the woods for a while. Sitting on the forest floor. My hands were licked clean, but the thirst still gnawed at me. I was mostly coherent now, though. Thinking back through my actions. I had no idea what I was thinking when I stepped infront of that car. I could have seriously hurt her. I could have killed her. I about killed her when I lost myself. I was extreamly grateful to Carlisle, getting me away from her when he did. When in place, he was like a safety net.
I listened to the thoughts comming from my family. My face betrayed no emotion but I learned that Bella was okay. Screaming for me and I would not be answering her, but I knew she was okay. Just a little banged up. Jasper, on the other hand, was trying to kill her. Emmett and Alice struggled with him. I should be there, protecting Bella from my brother. Helping Emmett and Alice bring him far away from her. Instead I sat here, in the forest wallowing in self-loathing.
I wanted to run. Just run, and keep running. Away. Just, disappear for a few years. I got up. Rising to my feet fluidly. I knew... I shook my head... I knew that would be impossible though. For both Bella and I. I could bearly go a few hours without seeing her, and I knew she was the same way. I also knew that I had made a promise to her. A promise that would kill the both of us if I broke it. My feet were moving though. So fast the forest was a blur. I needed to hunt before anything. I was lucky I can silently across a small grouping of deer. With one, I fed. My eyes became bright gold. Doesn't satisfy like a mountain lion, but it will do.
I knew Bella would be heading home now. I heard the thoughts of Esme as she raced down the highway. Struggling with the thoughts of wanted to be able to speak with Bella. Struggling with the idea that maybe she was strong enough to take a breath. I was glad Esme did not take that chance, and I ran faster. Toward Charlie's house. I made it there before they did, running up the side of the house, through the open window and into her bedroom.Her bedroom door was open, I closed it then went to go sit on her bed.
Esme pulled up, still struggling with herself. I pulled Bella's pillow into my hands and started spinning it in anxiousness. I listened to the conversaton Esme had with Charlie. I should have warned her before that Charlie was not fond of me. But ti was too late now. Bella was in the house and all I had to do was wait until she came to her room.
ooc| No, I'm not taking over Charlie. Make him say or do whatever you want, even dance a little jig.
Re: I'm Sorry [cont. from Visitors] « Reply #1 on Jun 18, 2008, 2:02pm »
I was quietly dazed through the car ride, hardly noticing when we got to the house. I watched the trees go by way too fast, and thought about running with Edward. It wasn't my favorite thing to do, but he got a kick out of it. I rubbed absently at my lip feeling the crusted blood. I was glad I hadn't thrown up. As Esme stopped the car I was pulled away. She got out without a look at me, and I kept my gaze on the cruiser. I looked up at the house, Charlie peering through the yellowed lace. Numbly I got out of the car, and stumbled after Esme. She glanced back at me once, and I couldn't quite read her expression. I was too distracted.
She rapped on the door, to which my father opened. I watched his face switch through severl different expressions. I didn't see worry in any of them for his daughter with a busted up lip, and cheek. Her ankle wrapped up, or for the fact I was staring almost mindlessly at him. I did not listen to the lie that Esme spun for Charlie's benefit. She turned to me and pressed the small bottle into my hand, I took it with a nod. "Thanks." I clutched it, anxious to hear Charlie's reaction. He smirked, which confused me. As he spoke, I grew angry. Did he really hate Edward so much? Esme seemed to be thinking the same thing. I didn't have the words to crawl him out like Esme. Plus she couldn't get in trouble for it either.
They glared at one another, before I pressed past Esme heading inside. I heard the screech of tires, and then the door click close. I had hesitated inside the kitchen, gripping a chair for support. Charlie scooted past me, headed for the couch. I had about decided to go upstairs to change when he spoke. At first his question did not seemed so worried.
"Yeah." I muttered quietly. Charlie still had his eyes trained on the TV. I came into the room, when he spoke badly about Esme. "No. She's a mom." I muttered, growing angry despite the dull numbness. He finally looked my way, as if to stare at me in disagreement when his expression changed. I wondered what he could see in my face. His color drained, and I blinked at him.
"I'm fine." I turned my back on him. "I'm going upstairs." I heard the couch springs announce his getting up. He touched my shoulder, almost oddly.
"Are you sure you are okay? You look beat up...almost like when Edward, uh....left." He asked. I shrugged away from his hand, flinching away from that memory. Exactly what I didn't want to think about.
"I'm okay, Dad....really. It was just...kind of scary." I whispered. Charlie muttered something that I didn't catch as I hobbled toward the dryer. I had some clean clothes in there. Still clutching the pill bottle, I rummaged through the dryer. I could hear ESPN's theme music coming from the TV set. I snagged a green shirt and some clean jeans. I needed to get out of these clothes. I draped them over my arm, as I gripped the banister and started the awkward climb.
I did not go straight to my room but to the bathroom at the top of the stairs. I glanced in the mirror. I looked like I had been in a wreck. My lip was something I tried not to focus on, and my cheek was scabbing over. A darkish color hung over my forehead, where I had hit the steering wheel I suppose. And I could see what had caused Charlie to have the awkward moment. I looked just like I had, when Edward had left. I put the bottle down, placing my clothes over it.
I wondered where he might be. What was he doing? What was he...thinking? I took a bath rag and washed my face carefully. It stung badly. I took off the dark blue shirt, in my possession for only fifteen minutes, and threw the soiled shirt to the side. I did the same with my jeans. I put on the extras I'd gotten from the dryer and glanced back in the mirror. Better.
I filled the glass beside the sink with water, and peered at the instructions on the medicine bottle. I popped one, chasing it down with the water. I opened the bathroom door, and using the walls made it to my room.
I noticed it was closed. Hadn't I left it open this morning? Carefully I grabbed the knob, not getting overexcited. Perhaps I had closed it this morning without thinking about it. I took a grateful breath when I saw him. He was sitting on the bed, fiddling with one of my pillows. Unconsciously a smile spread over my features as i stood in the door way.
Re: I'm Sorry [cont. from Visitors] « Reply #2 on Jun 18, 2008, 2:59pm »
ooc| Wow, thats a powerful song. Even stronger when I see it through Bella and Edward.
And I waited. I heard the door below me shut. Charlie did not waste a minute to return to his game. But already was half-assed asking Bella how she felt and took a stab at Esme. Bella's words sounded empty when she answered him. Charlie noticed, I saw a flash of a memory of last September and it had stung me. I winced and stopped spinning the pillow for a second. But then I heard Bella mention she was going upstairs. I was bracing myself for impact until Charlie stalled her. I started figiting with the pillow again.
"Are you sure you are okay? You look beat up...almost like when Edward, uh....left." Charlie asked her. A vivid memory of Sam handing an exausted, dirty, and torn Bella to him. Then carrying her inside and placing her on the couch. Bella mumbling "He's gone." The whole time.
My breathing became jagged and unsteady. My head felt dizzy and my stomach dropped. If it were possible to cry as the monster I am, I would be. I'm a monster. Bella weaved together a response that would have worked, but Charlie did not believe her. I saw her face through his eyes. It made me worse. My hands shook.
After hearing the door of the dryer close, there were awkward steps comming up the staircase. I knew how far she progressed up the stairs when she hit the one step that creaked when stepped on. I started to panic, she was on the landing, but she did not enter. My breathing stopped for a moment as I heard the bathroom door close.
I thought I was a patient man, but panic was shooting through me. What was I to do, what was I to say? I had no idea how to react when Bella would eventually walk through that door. She would walk through the door, wouldn't she? Would she feel like trying to proove to Charlie that she was not regressing into the zombie state that I was the cause of. Would she head to the kitchen and wait by the phone, hoping someone would call her to give her an update? How long would I be able to keep my sanity in place while I waited for her to enter her room? Luckily, the wait was not going to be that long. I heard her hesitate outside the door. She probably noticed someone had closed it. I watched the doorknob turn, and she entered.
A smile spread across her face, lighting it up a little. But she still looked torn. I did not really even notice the scabbing of her cheek or the cut on her lip, or even the bruising of her forehead. My lips tried to turn into that half-smile I know she loves. But I felt something wrong with it. The expression still left my golden eyes looking lost and hollow. I shot up off the bed anyway, dropping the pillow on the floor and wrapping my arms around Bella, tightly... for her. I pressed my face in her hair, smelling the sweet intoxicating scent that I had lost myself earlier in. Now I was sobbing. "Bella, oh Bella! I am so sorry!". I cried between kisses in her hair.
Re: I'm Sorry [cont. from Visitors] « Reply #3 on Jun 18, 2008, 4:51pm »
He did not look angry as he smiled my favorite crooked smile. It didn't touch his warm eyes, but still I couldn't detect any anger. But he was here. That was what mattered most. He dropped my pillow through, and rose to come at me.
I did not move as he hugged me, but wrapped my arms around him. He was cold as always, and hard as marble but I didn't care. The embrace was tight, but I was happy. I held onto him tighter. I felt his lips in my hair, and I sighed...content with my lot in life. Just as long as he was here, I could have all the bad luck in the world.
My heart was having its moment, fluttering so quickly like usual. I felt like I was gonig to cry, but then...he was. I had never seen Edward cry...or rather sob. Carefully I tilted up my head to look at him. My eyebrows were risen as I was worried.
"Edward. You shouldn't be the one apoogizing...I...I" I lost it then, unable to be the strong person either. I looked into his warm eyes, blurred by my coming tears. I blushed. "I shouldn't have..It's just...I didn't want to...take you away from your family..." I didn't have words to say. Nothing could make what I had done right. I swallowed hard, trying to clear my throat.
"Are you alright?" I asked, putting my head against his chest. I could hear his shallow breathing, but nothing more. "Are you angry with me?" I whispered. I was having a little party in my head, the fact that he was here...and not gone was wonderful. But...I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. I shook, trying to get away from those thoughts. They weren't welcome as far as I was concerned.
"I'm so glad...you stayed." I mouthed, though no breath gave life to those words. I didn't want him to know I'd been worried about it. Though he probably knew. I looked up at him again, taking one of my hands and stroking his face.
"I love you." I gave a shaky smile. "And I guess I owe you a new car." I blushed again, deeper this time.
Re: I'm Sorry [cont. from Visitors] « Reply #4 on Jun 18, 2008, 11:31pm »
ooc| Never seen him cry? Page 453 of Twilight: "And the angel was sobbing tearless, broken sobs." I tried replying, but I am too tired from work to write anything worthwhile. I'll try after I get some sleep.
Re: I'm Sorry [cont. from Visitors] « Reply #6 on Jun 19, 2008, 9:41am »
ooc| lol, true. Erm, picking her up and moving her someplace powerplaying?
To have her here, in my arms. Is the best feeling in the world. She was so warm and so soft and so breakable. I almost broke her today. Almost shattered her into a thousand pieces. As she looked up at me my slight histarics subsided. The she broke into tears. And if I could hold her tighter without crushing her I would have.
I listened her her as she spoke about my family. Not interrupting her as she struggled to get the words out between her sobs. "Are you alright?" She asked as she leaned her head against my chest. "Angry with me?" I was about to answer when I heard her mouth the words "I'm so glad, you stayed." It hurt just a little. But, I had left her once and there was no way, no matter how much I tried, to gain that bit of trust still left out back.
"I love you, Bella." I told her, kissing her head again, I rested the side of my face there, speaking through her hair. "Of course I wasn't going to leave you. I thought you knew that I learned my lesson." As I referred to one of the darkest points in my life, I picked her up gently into my arms and I went to go sit on the bed. I slid back to lean against the wall as I cradled her in my arms. "I'm alright, I guess, and I am not angry with you. I'm angry with myself." I bent my head down to kiss her on her forehead. "And why would you owe me a new car? I'm the one that broke it." The image of her in my place instead, car smearing her on the gravel instead of cumbling around her body quickly jumped through my head. I don't know why the image flashed by, and I flinched slightly.
"Are you angry with me?" I turned the question around now. Directing it at her. "I very nearly killed you twice in under five minutes. I think that warrants some anger." Actually I think that warranted the death penelty, by the way I feel. But there would be two causualties in the end, so I did not mention it.
Re: I'm Sorry [cont. from Visitors] « Reply #7 on Jun 19, 2008, 2:32pm »
He spoke with his head against mine, and I nodded mutely. I should have known. I hardly noticed as he picked me up and carried me to the bed. I was too busy memorizing his face again and again. I felt like a child as he leaned against he wall on my bed. I sighed, content.
"I know, but I couldn't help but...worry." I realized I hadn't put complete faith in him, and I was saddened. He had promised, and his word was better than anything else in this world.
I should have known he was angry with himself. But I shook my head furiously. "You should be angry with me, it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't tried to steal a vampire's car." I teased lightly. "I should know better than that." As his lips touched my forehead I closed my eyes. We were so close, and I was glad. He turned my question back on me. "Are you angry with me?" Again I shook my head.
"Never." I would rather have him killed me than be angry at me. I didn't speak those words aloud, for fear that he would be angry. I rested my head on his shoulder, my forehead laying on his neck. I closed my eyes.
"So where are we going?" I sighed in defeat, as I snuggled closer to him. I didn't know how close I could get without him pusing me awa...but I would try. Usually it was only with kissing he pushed me away, so I wasn't too worried. He was cold though. I shivered against him.
"And I will find some way to get you a new car." I muttered. I thought about selling the truck. that wouldn't go for much. I considered my options waiting for him to reply.
Re: I'm Sorry [cont. from Visitors] « Reply #8 on Jun 20, 2008, 1:51am »
I was not in the correct mood to make light of her teasing. But I allowed it. And I expected as much when she replied never to my question. I rolled my eyes minutely. Then squeezed her for a split second. I breathed her in, filling my lungs with her scent. Closing my eyes in a sort of satisfaction as I slowly let calmness surround and flow through me. I was growing content.
I smiled. A real smile this time. "So where are we going?" She sighed. It sounded like a sigh of defeat. I picked up her hand and kissed her lightly on the inside of her wrist. I still smiled, even after hearing her vow on getting me a new car.
"Don't worry about my car." I told her, tracing the blue veins that shown boldly from under her nearly translucent skin with my nose. "I have a more expensive one sitting in the garage. I'll think twice about smashing this one." I laughed a little at the end of that sentence. "And well, I'm going to let you decide where to go." I sighed. I was the one in defeat this time. "Bella. I'm tired of being thwarted every time I try to protect you. Everything I feel is right for you seems to be wrong." I felt the sadness creep back into my eyes. "It's your turn. Anything you want... well, not anything." I corrected myself. Last time I promised her anything I ended up having to promise her a certain human experiance I was not sure I could comply with. "But I will hear you out, and seriously concider it. It's all you this time. I'm tired of hurting you while trying to do the exact opposite." I stared into her large brown eyes. The depths of them always seemed to go on forever. My golden eyes were wistful.
Re: I'm Sorry [cont. from Visitors] « Reply #9 on Jun 20, 2008, 10:54am »
I bit my lip, regretting it instantly as a small shiver of pain prickled. I almost actually wished he was angry at me. This understanding was far too much. I scowled, as his eyes looked wistfully into mine. That was unfair. He held my wrist in his hand, kissing the inside before tracing my veins with his nose.
"No, I'm going to be the good kid now. We'll go where ever you want to. No objections." I argued. I was up for whatever now. The prospect of just Edward and I alone was more enticing now than it had been back at the Cullen's.
I watched him, inhaling me, and thought back over the wreck that happened only...fifteen minutes ago? He was in perfect control it seemed. I wanted to ask, about it....but held my tongue. I didn't want to see any emotion reflected in those eyes but happiness.
"Esme told Charlie you'd come by soon." I blurted, remembering coming inside. "You think we should...?" I didn't want to get up, didn't want to leave this comfort. I tucked my head under his chin. I watched the floor with faked interest.
« Last Edit: Jun 24, 2008, 6:37am by Zo♥ [Bella] »
![[Search This Thread]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/search2.gif)
![[Send Topic To Friend]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/buttons/sendtopic.gif)
![[Print]](http://s1.images.proboards.com/buttons/print.gif)
Author![[avatar]](http://img378.imageshack.us/img378/9829/edward031ce0.png)
Logged![[image]](http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/5576/edwardishotjt9.jpg)
![[avatar]](http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r245/_Exist/065.jpg)
![[image]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a24/FriesianLover/hd.png)
♥Bella Swan - 18 - Engaged to Edward Cullen - Human